STEP THROUGH

Posted: March 10, 2012 in Books, Christianity, Education, Family, History, Life, News, Parenting, Quotes, Uncategorized

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

– Philippians 3:12-14 NIV

When I came to Christ in the Spring of 1993 it was prompted by an internal gnawing of my soul that felt empty. An awakening to the reality of something deep within me that was not satisfied by what I thought would fulfill me or bring fulfillment to me. Without warning I began to sense a great need for God, so much so, I began to inquire why one would need to go to church? Within me I could sense the understanding of the resolution to the question and the simplicity of the answer. If I say, ‘I believe in God.’ Then I would be willing to do what He requires that includes going to church. Iwas not raised in the church, although I remember attending as a child. I even has a memory of drawing a picture of Jesus Christ at All Souls Church in Wash., DC in the early 70’s. I am the 4th of 4 children and grew up in a single parent household due to the divorce of my parents by the time I was born. The divorce fractured my familygrowing up as a child. My mother suffered with multiple bouts of clinical depression and paranoid schizophrenia that caused us to move every 4 years beginning in the 4th grade through college.

I was sexually abused as a child and there were times when my mother didn’t even live with me. There were times when my brothers lived with my father while my sister and I lived with either my grandmother and aunt, or my mother later when we moved into Prince George’s County Maryland in 1977. After the death of my grandmother, I lived with my mother for good from 1982-1986. I eventually had to move in with my sister when I entered college in 1986 and my mother soon after joined us. She was no longer able to care for herself at the time. My father to this day does not claim my sister and I as his children. My oldest brother gave his life to Christ as a teenager and, to me, disappeared. My second oldest brother eventually went into the Marines. We never grew up as a family. My memories of my childhood are not all bad, but my reflection about family is bittersweet. By the time I graduated from college (1990), I had aspirations to become a published author of children’s books discovering my talent and interest in drawing cartoon art in high school and developing that gift in college at the Corcoran School of Art and Design. Without guidance and knowledge of how to navigate life, I was lost working part time (3 hours a day) in an after-school program I discovered to help pay for school while I was in college. The work doubled as a summer camp program during the summer of which I had over 10 years experience.

That experience led me to work as a full-time sub in the winter of 1991, through the recommendation of a friend whose mother was a teacher, that led me to meet two vice-principals that influenced and changed the course of my life forever. One vice-principal saw my abilities as an adult working with children and encouraged me to become a teacher. the other administrator was compelled to talk with me compassionately about my faith relationship with God and church. Eventually, that gnawing emptiness I felt was prompted by that conversation and during an intimate conversation I was having with a friend one day I heard her say, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10 NIV It’s all I remember her saying to this day not understanding what we were talking about that led to that, but from that moment I stepped through my past into who I am now in Christ!

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